Can’t sleep

It’s 2:33am an I can’t sleep. 2days without and think I’m getting to hear things that might not be there.

I’m an empath so don’t know if it has anything to do with that. Or just the time of year with Samhain coming soon.

No matter which room I go in, there a huge hiss like steam or gas escaping. Then I hear my wife’s voice, telling me to do it and come join her.

Problem is my wife has been deceased since 2012. She took her own life and commited suicide.



You’re not here and i don’t know why
Sometimes i feel i shouldn’t pry
Like a flame that burned to long
I can be like the churning sun
Flash of spark and turn it ash
Pride to wear like ribbon sash
When you left it all went cold
No one to hold the babe of olde
Ask not to when the moon will rise
All i see is your despise
Daggers springing from your eyes.

Never felt so hated

I’ve never felt so hated in all my life. That’s all i can assume it is when people won’t even accept a reverse charge or collect call from someone when they are in the hospital.

Oh I understand not being flavour of the month club or best buddies anymore. But i have to assume common decency is somewhere.

I personally would answer the call, I’m sure any decent people would. Whether it was your best bud, colleague from work, or worst enemy.

You hear the word “calling from hospital” and you’d answer.

Well apparently not for me…

I was in hospital once a while ago not this time and couldn’t get the absence number for work. I had one of the vein things in, so checked myself out, went to work still with my arm band mind you. Ended up nearly passing out, shit my pants and had to choose to go home unpaid for the rest of the day.

There is no decency left in people. Or few that i know anyway.


Drilling down into my mind

What will you find deep down inside

Am I brave or cower i fear

In my words what do you hear

Frozen in an instant of time

Are you near and are you mine

Drilling down into my heart

Does it beat or will it start

Am i man or something else

Left as it were upon the shelf

Drilling down into my soul

Is it broke or is it whole

Bursting from the veil beyond

Am i here and will it fail

To comprehend this is not home

I was born to swim the stars

Walk in sunlight far beyond Mars.

The Rush

A passionate kiss provides the blush
I know there is no need to rush
Two lovers locked in heated kiss
A wet and powerful near miss

Your kiss is as pure
Your heart divine
Sent from heaven
And Now You’re mine

I need you close to feel at home
No longer feeling all alone
Used to feeling desperate
Now I feel complete