Who pays for what

So, who pays for what?

I have an Agony Aunt column on DearCupid, and the amount of questions that come through relating to who pays for a meal/drinks etc is staggering. You get the whole range come out in people leading with their emotions, getting angry or agitated and calling the other person a Tight Wad.

My answer generally always follows this formula:

1. Was it discussed before hand

2. Has the person previously paid for anything

3. Financial situation of each individual

Discuss before hand

There is nothing worse than people bickering in the middle of a pub or restaurant when the bill comes, this should be done away from the prying eyes of everyone else.

So, before you even decide to go out for a meal or a drink, have the discussion. “I paid for pizza last time, now it’s your turn”, “let’s go 50/50” etc etc.

Equal Rights

Years ago, women fought hard for equal rights. They won the right to vote, they got the right to work, they even got the right to equal pay for equal jobs. So, women should also have equal rights to pay for everything. You can’t have it both ways, you either have the equal rights when it comes to everything, (including paying) or you don’t have equal rights.

The Rules

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to paying. There is no Commandment passed down by God, to Moses on Mount Sinai to cover the dynamics of male-female meal times.

I do have a set of rules that I always follow, that if you want are just below.

1. Who asked who on a date (if the man asked for the date, the man should pay. If the woman did, she should.)

2. If it’s a special occasion (man’s birthday, woman should pay. If woman’s birthday, man should pay.)

3. If it’s an anniversary dinner (man and woman go 50/50.)

4. If you are taking family out (males family, male pays, Females family, woman pays.)

* Financial Situation *

As an addendum, if the male is in a lower paying job, female in a lower paying job. Then the person who makes the most money should pay.

Of course the alternatives are, the person pays for what they order. So if the lady has salad and white wine (that’s all she pays for). But again, don’t make the fuss at the restaurant or pub. No one want’s to see people arguing while they are sat eating. 


One thought on “Who pays for what

  1. yes I agree to a lot of this, course I am a bit old fashioned, so I think that whoever asked for the date should pay and also in case of emergencies the one would isn’t paying should have some cash on them in case something unforeseen happens and they have to ring up a taxi.

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