Faith and loosing faith
I have often said that no matter what or who you believe in, one day you will have a crisis of faith and wonder if you are stupid for believing in something at all. Though I am a man of God, a minister of religion, – I too have had my moments of doubt or loss of faith.
I have told my readers and followers before about the time I was in America and someone (an afro-american) pulled a pistol on me and threatened to shoot me for my money and luggage.
There I was the gentleman had already proved the gun was loaded, he pointed in into a puddle and fired a shot. He then brandished it in my face once more and threatened to kill me then and there. I can tell you now that I questioned God’s plan for me. I prayed, “What have I done to deserve this, have you abandoned me to this end”.
But as close to death as I was, I realized that this wasn’t God’s will. It was a weak human man, who had pulled the gun. Whether he was hungry, had lost his job (I didn’t know). I was simple in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But, let me tell you this, there is nothing like having a gun pointed at you. To make you question if there is a God.
We are not alone in that worry
I am reminded that when Jesus was in the wilderness, then again on the cross being crucified. He looked to the sky and cried out, “Father why have you abandoned me to this fate?” Even Jesus, Son of God, God incarnate is not above the same worries and trepidation we face on a daily basis. Jesus knew he would be resurrected, and yet he still cried to the heaven’s feeling like he had been abandoned to his fate.