Narcissistic personality disorder

Quote:

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. This condition affects one percent of the population. First formulated in 1968, it was historically called megalomania, and is severe egocentrism.

Symptoms of this disorder, as defined by the DSM-IV-TR include:

  • Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments
  • Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others
  • Envies others and believes others envy him/her
  • Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence
  • Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others
  • Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior
  • Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic

Before someone tells me all this is wrong (had it happen before with this type of thing) The above is from Wikipedia and their definitions not my own.

It states the reasons for developing NPD can stem from parents showing more love to other children and feeling left out.

Quote:

The cause of this disorder is unknown; however, Groopman and Cooper list the following factors identified by various researchers as possibilities:

  • An oversensitive temperament at birth;
  • Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback;
  • Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood;
  • Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers;
  • Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults;
  • Severe emotional abuse in childhood;
  • Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents;
  • Learning manipulative behaviors from parents;
  • Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem.

I don’t know if any of this is relevant, I can only go on my gut feelings and I believe that I suffer from NPD for some of the above reasons.

When I was younger, I was told in no uncertain circumstances that “I was an accident, I hadn’t been wanted, I should have been aborted”. That is very hurtful to hear as a child, it’s even more hurtful to know that more than one family member said it and meant it.

But then when the girls came along, seeing all the affection, doting and love that was hand fed to them. You begin to despise or hate that attention. So you get good at acting up, you believe any attention is good attention.

So I went bad, I went out of my way to act out, I got sooo good at being bad. It didn’t matter if I was being shouted at, or sent to my room, I didn’t care because NOW they were giving me attention.

 

The funny thing is, once you stop being bad nothing changes, it doesn’t matter how good you become, you are still the Bad person forever. Well I turned to the Light Side lol, I now only use my powers for good.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s