Dark souls

Ripping

Tearing

Pulling

Eating

Grabbing

Stabbing

Never full.

Wanting

Needing

Make them bleeding

Eating

Never Sleeping

Meeting

Eating.

Claws

Paws

Ravenous whores

Devour

Sour

Power

Eating more.

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Love yourself

Love yourself they say,

Like that will take the pain away,

Feeling down and out,

Broken and want to scream and shout,

Hate myself and what I am,

Blame it on not being a man,

Tears and fears all pull at me,

Long to set myself free.

Barriers down

You made me laugh,

You made me cry,

Even looked me in the eye,

Said one thing,

but did another,

Even said just be a brother, not my lover.

If words are power,

Poems are spells,

You tore me up cast me into hell,

Down in darkness,

Demon’s dwell,

Biting, burning hearts a shell.

Father down I sink,

Pulled into the putrid stink,

There you laugh,

And mock my pain,

Just out the bullet in my brain,

You think it’s gone and lost our spark,

So let me fall way deep in dark.

We come to the end of verse,

How can you sit there so perverse,

Take the knife from out my heart,

You use it well as is your art.

Emotions

I was always taught that boys don’t cry and that showing emotions made you weak.

So much so that I didn’t get to shed a tear when my grandmother died. I couldn’t grieve because this was weakness.

I was at work and for the briefest of moments I felt really sad. I went to the management and was given 1 day off for a family problem but had to be back in the next day.

When I feel sad, or watch something sad I have to leave the room. I pretend to make a drink and then the barriers I’ve built over the years go up and don’t show anything at all.

I went on medication a few years ago to take away the lows, but it took away the highs as well.

Just wish I could break the cycle and let show what I feel inside.

Beware the wolf

Beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They play at being the victim, it may be the woman who says her husband is hurting her, or the guy or girl who stated they are dying from terminal cancer. Only to find they aren’t terminal or have cancer.

Some will go to extremes like planning a fake funeral, or self harming to leave marks.

These emotional vampires, or leeches are all around and good people get sucked in and can’t escape.

Just be careful.